God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
