I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
