i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
