barbara walters just said penis...
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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