the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
