I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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