Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
