that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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