so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
