that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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