Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
