I will die if light touches me.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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