Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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