WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
This house was built for laser tag.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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