i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
