Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
