so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
