please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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