Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
