THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
