He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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