if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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