every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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