It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
