So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
