Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
