alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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