sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
