Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
