yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
