dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
