it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
