They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
well I can't set my house on fire every night
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
