Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
