I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
