I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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