; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
