It's Friday. Sex?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
