The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
