why didn't you poke me back
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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