I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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