There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
