I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
