were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
