You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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