I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
