He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
