The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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