I feel like abortions should bother me more
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
