i jhust puked up my retainher.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
handjob tips. give me some.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
